The Imperfectionist- The right dose of self-discipline⁠↗

Somehow, I’d turned the thrilling prospect of a better life into a sequence of lifeless tasks I had to execute – and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Of course, I realise that any meaningful goal entails some less-than-thrilling tasks. But these top-down, willpower-heavy systems sucked the joy from everything, even the theoretically thrilling bits, leaving no room for spontaneity, or the rhythms of inspiration, or my shifting moods.

Too much emphasis on muscling your way to success – by deciding what needs doing, then making yourself do it – soon peters out into procrastination, self-loathing and resentment. (Interestingly, this is resentment of yourself, the one who came up with the plan, which is a little strange, when you think about it.)

Some of my favourite techniques for getting things done, I now see, function by permitting me to harness the self-disciplined side of my personality, without suffocating the inspiration-and-spontaneity part. Doing things ‘dailyish’ is a good example: it’s disciplined, but in a gentle and resilient way, not a rigid and brittle one. Another is using “no-later-than” times in scheduling your day: if you aspire, say, to start getting up at 6am, resolve instead to get up no later than 7am.

the concept of MTO goalsetting, which fits perfectly here. For any goal you’re aiming to accomplish, this approach involves setting three levels of success: the Minimum, which you’re confident you’ll achieve; the Target, which is realistic but a bit of a stretch; and an Outrageous outcome, which you’d be thrilled and a little surprised if you could manage.

It might be tempting to think of willpower-based goalsetting systems as hardheaded and realistic, while dismissing those that leave space for spontaneity – or for just not feeling like it today – as self-indulgent and second-tier. But I think it’s the other way around. Our changing moods and energy levels, and how inspired we’re feeling on any given day, are part of the hard reality we must accept in order to take effective action.