Salary Negotiation- Make More Money, Be More Valued Kalzumeus Software⁠↗

People say that your house is the biggest purchase you’ll ever make, but it won’t be the most consequential negotiation.  If you’re sane only about 25% or so of your gross income is subject to the results of real estate negotiations.  Close to 100% is subject to the results of salary negotiations.  Thus, your salary negotiations are probably going to be the most important financial decisions you will ever make.

Never give a number. “But Patrick,” you cry.  “I don’t want to be difficult.”  You’re not being difficult.  You’re not doing anything immoral.  You’re not being unprofessional.  They’re businessmen, sometimes they don’t have all the information they would love to have prior to making a decision.  They’ll deal.

Notice how often I say “We” and variations on “mutual win.”  Those work pretty well.  The only thing better than “We” is “You” (and variants), because people care a heck of a lot more about their problems than about your problems.  (This advice is stolen shamelessly from Dale Carnegie.)  This means that a) you should talk about their problems, concerns, and wishes and b) you should guard against your own natural tendency to bring up irrelevant things like your own problems, which typically will not help you sell the decisionmaker on adopting the mutual win you’re proposing.  Similarly, I generally try to phrase things positively rather than score debating points.